I found out yesterday that a former love interest is dating an acquaintance. For some odd reason, when I learned this instead of being happy for them, I felt upset; like someone decided to grab my heart mid-thump and squeeze while pulling my gut down to my feet and pouring acid into it.

I just didn’t feel right. I was upset, but not upset upset- if you can understand what I am trying to say. I was upset that I wasn’t in a relationship. That I wasn’t sharing the good news. That I didn’t have arm candy for the summer.

Thinking about it now, a day later, I realize how selfish I was (am) being. I am not hurt that he moved on, but that I can’t have him on the back burner anymore; that I no longer have the satisfaction of knowing that “Yes he wants me but I don’t want him.” I am upset that I am not the center of his attention. And while it’s sad to vocalize this (or type it), I am happy that I understand exactly what I am feeling. It’s really just sad that I am green for all the wrong reasons.

Has this ever happened to you? Did you realize exactly what it was that you were feeling?

1 comment
  1. I don’t think many guys experience this feeling, since we get fixated on one girl at a time. It definitely hurts if she goes for someone else, but we feel happy for any other girl that gets into a relationship. I loved this girl a couple years ago (I still do, but it’s a friendly love), and she had a boyfriend and would talk to me about him and all that. I felt genuine happiness for her happiness, and I would always try to get her to forgive him if they had a fight, or be more understanding if he made a mistake. At the end of that school year, I told her about another girl I liked (I still loved her, but I realized it wasn’t really a romantic attraction) and she felt jealous even though she had a boyfriend.
    I can definitely understand why girls like to have more than one person like them, but this is very frustrating for us guys. Unfortunately, that’s just life. I don’t blame anyone for their desires, because desire is something we can hardly control. But I wish girls would sometimes put themselves in our shoes, and feel how much it hurts to be led on.

I know you wanna say something- so just say it! Lol!

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